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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251861">Don't Get Emotional On Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizzarczar/pseuds/Bizzarczar'>Bizzarczar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Overwatch (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Secret Santa, This was way longer than originally intended lmao</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:01:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28251861</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bizzarczar/pseuds/Bizzarczar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For years it’s been a tradition in Overwatch to have a gift exchange, it started between the strike team on the battlefield during the war. Far from their own families over the holidays but ended up making a new one together. </p><p>The tradition continues as Gabriel joins the new Overwatch after the recall and Secret Santa has begun, trying to get out of it before it's shoved onto him. He's surprised to get Jack his secret Santa, the last person he wanted as he is still uncertain of their relationship after the fall.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Reaper76 Free For All Secret Santa 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Get Emotional On Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatflaps/gifts">Meatflaps</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For years it’s been a tradition in Overwatch to have a gift exchange, it started between the strike team on the battlefield during the war. Far from their own families over the holidays but ended up making a new one together. </p><p>It was Reinhardt who insisted on doing the gift exchange, even with Torbjorn’s own gawk of “With what?” Since they didn’t really have much to offer one another. In the end, they exchange rations or make something for one another out of the parts lying around. Since it wasn’t planned it was a bit of a mess of everyone throwing their rations around to each other. But it was nice, allowing them if not only a brief moment of rest bite during the war. </p><p>After that, it became a permanent tradition that slowly morphed into a secret Santa that carried on into Overwatch, Reinhardt boasting of the tale of how it first began also became tradition too. With new faces added it wasn’t long till it felt like a family gathering for the holidays, gifts being exchanged and surprised faces as who was their secret Santa was revealed throughout the nights. </p><p>Gabriel cherished these moments, even when people left overwatch and it came crashing down onto him, he could never forget the small joys of seeing loved one’s faces light up. Getting Jack as his secret Santa was his favourite, the flustered mess the strike commander had made his heart melt as he showed off an awful knitted Halloween themed sweater. He will never get over how his eyes lit up as he wore the sweater for the rest of the night, he sure Jack has a look of something else but, he never wanted to confront it himself. Too afraid he was wrong, or even to face rejection. </p><p>When Overwatch fell apart, so did the relationship between Gabriel and Jack. There were no more tender hand-holding, only fists towards one another.  Instead of soft looks, it was glares and irritation. Stolen moments of peace between them became heated and angry arguments that would dissolve into fights. </p><p>As the pillars collapsed around them, friends dead or long left. In the end, they were the only ones left in Overwatch even as the building collapsed around them. He expects Jack to be angry with him right until the end, but they ended up holding onto one another until the world split them apart. </p><p>Now they are back together again, but on different terms. The Overwatch recall had shoved them both together again, Gabriel had joined the Overwatch recall revealing himself to be a double agent and trying to gather up information on Talon, even so, he was still met with harsh criticism by Winston and Lena, which he took under consideration. Yet, it was more of a shock to anyone that he, along with Jack and Ana were alive. Tears were spilt and yelling was not uncommon for the first few months of the recall, upset that they didn’t know about their friends being alive. It was most harsh for Fareeha who had to find out her own mother was alive through the recall and how hurt she was. </p><p>Gabriel sympathised but never stepped out of place, only really observing from the shadows like he always did. Although he couldn’t stand to look at Jack for too long, he knew Jack had survived, along with Ana. But it still pained him to shoot at the man he called a friend in the distant past that he often fantasized about ending differently. </p><p>But he pulls himself out of these thoughts, watching as Reinhardt is wearing a ridiculous reindeer costume (if it could even be called that.) Wearing a headband with reindeer horns and small ears with a sweater ugly sweater that has reindeers plastered all over it. Gabriel raises an eyebrow until Torbjörn comes out dressed as Santa. </p><p>“Secret Santa time! Everyone gather around and get your name! Remember no second chances!” Reinhardt bellowed out, in an almost too cheerful tone for his taste as he watched his old friend move around.</p><p>He was planning on holding up in his room and hiding away from the event, Gabriel didn’t want to participate this year, (didn’t feel like he deserved to be a part of it). But he can’t run now, especially with Torbjörn coming towards him, for a man with short stature, he definitely makes himself known with a giant presence. </p><p>The Swedish man comes up to him holding out the Santa hat filled with pieces of paper that are folded making sure no one can see the names. “Here, before you go sulking off. Reinhardt is already capturing Jack to make sure he participates too.” </p><p>Looking over to Reinhardt, true to his word the giant German was practically beaming at Jack who begrudgingly took a slip from the hat. Jack was good at keeping his face neutral, but Gabriel had learned small ticks over the years, the way his eyes crinkle, the slight way his mouth moves or the subtle way his chest puffs up a little. All things Gabriel has learned, and if anything Jack seems bemused at the name he’s pulled out. If he had to guess, Jack might have gotten Zenyatta, the monk who arrived with Genji after he came back from his visit to Nepal. </p><p>“So,” Gabriel’s eyes are torn away from the super-soldier as he looks down at Torbjörn again, as he speaks. “Will you be drawing a name before I grow anymore beard hair?” Gabriel rolls his eyes as he pushes his hand into the hat, shifting around before he grabs a sheet of paper and pulling it out. </p><p>Unravelling the small sheet of paper, Gabriel looks at the sheet with surprise and almost annoyance about the fact he drew Jack. <em> Jack </em> , the man who had yelled at for years but held close in what he believed was their final moment. The man he shot in the back the first time they had met each other again.  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” he groans out, Torbjörn looking amused at Gabriel’s reaction as he begins to walk away.<br/><br/>“Let me redraw, Torb! I don’t think I will be a good match for this one.” Gabriel calls out to the Swedish man who simply shrugged as he walked away calling out to his old friend.</p><p>“Were you not listening, Gabriel, no second chances!” Torbjörn laughs a little as he makes his rounds around the other recalled members of overwatch, some new, some old. </p><p>In frustration Gabriel grumbled under his breath about how ridiculous this was, shoving the little name slip into his hoodie. Thinking of a way to get out of getting something for Jack, but at the same time, his heart sank at the thought of Jack not receiving a gift just because <em>he </em>had his name. </p><p>As everyone gets their names and slowly begins to split off, some stay behind. That includes himself, his eyes looking over to Jack surprised to see he’s still here. He wants to talk to Jack so badly, every part of him sings at the thought but Gabriel holds himself back. Deep inside he knows he isn’t worth Jack’s time anymore, not after he hurt him so badly right before their ‘deaths’. Even so, he wants to try again…</p><p>A bit too lost in his own thoughts, he snaps out of it when he hears a small, “Hey.” Looking up in surprise, Gabriel is alarmed to see Jack right in front of him. His hand clenches around the slip involuntary, from the worry of getting caught or from something else that he’s too afraid to admit.  </p><p>“Are you doing alright?” Jack seems concerned for him, but it feels he doesn’t deserve to hear this after everything.</p><p>“I’m fine, just tired… forgot this would be happening.” Gabriel groans out hopping that Jack will read his body language as more tired than annoyed. He feels small under Jack’s gaze even if they are the same height as the man in question looks concerned at him.</p><p>“Gabe…” The way Jack softly says his name makes his chest tighten and knees weak, but he keeps himself upright, his eyes not leaving Jack’s own. Seeing Jack slowly move his hand closer before bringing it back to himself shifting uncomfortably for a moment. “Maybe you should go and get some rest.”</p><p>The air between them is awkward, lots of unspoken words between them, apologies that Gabriel wants to say but keeps quiet as much as it kills him to do so. He wishes they could go back to the time when Jack and himself were able to laugh freely, to steal private moments of comforting each other. Sometimes he wishes something came out of their relationship, he wanted to be more… Still does but he knows he can’t have that. He doesn’t deserve to be happy after all he’s done to Jack. </p><p>“Yeah, I think I will, thanks for the advice.” The tone is flat as it slips out of Gabriel’s mouth, he sees Jack wince just a little, an apology almost slips out his mouth but he bites his tongue not wanting to show any Jack weakness that he could exploit.</p><p>“Goodnight.” Is all that escapes Jack, although it is so simple it hurts and causes Gabriel a deep ache in his heart, he wants to desperately say more, wants to keep talking to Jack. Even so, he lets any words die in his mouth that could cause more aches. </p><p>“Goodnight Jack.” Gabriel can only echo his words, leaving the area as he walks away. In the corner of his eye, he swears he sees Jack’s arm reach out to him only to flop pathetically by his side as he leaves, the automatic doors from the main break room closing behind him. </p><p>Once he’s back in his own quarters, Gabriel lets out a sigh watching as the smoke-filled nanites leaves his lips. The plume brought some sense of calm after seeing it for so long after becoming the ‘Reaper’ it helped him relieve stress.  Pulling his hand from his pocket, he uncrumpled the paper looking down at Jack’s name scrawled across it as it looks back at him. </p><p>He feels like tearing up the little piece of paper but knows better, letting out a groan of annoyance as he sits on his bed and tipping his head back gently against the wall. Gabriel holds the piece of paper gently in his fingers as he looks up at the ceiling having no idea what to do for Jack’s gift. </p><p>Years ago he would have been in a huge flurry for ideas, ranging for things to make him or order him. But now Gabriel is scared if he gets Jack the wrong gift, it would damage the already fragile relationship they have built for now. </p><p>After around ten minutes of sulking, Gabriel dumps the name slip onto his desk that sits beside his bed, getting up to go to the bathroom and shower away the thoughts that plague his mind of messing up this important task he has ahead of him. </p><p>The days blur together as he still figures out what to get for Jack, his mind racing with ideas that he rejects every time not liking the idea or hating the hypothetical end result that could happen if Gabriel presented it to Jack. He stares at the name slip with Jack’s name again at his desk, his eyes not leaving the slip that taunts his every waking thought. </p><p>By this time Gabriel would have something for Jack, sure it’s only a month away but he liked to be prepared for the boy scout, now here he is struggling and grasping at straws for just one single idea he likes.</p><p>Staring at the ceiling Gabriel closes his eyes and tries not to get too worked up over his plight, maybe even hoping by the time he opens his eyes again he’ll come up with an idea for Jack’s gift. </p><hr/><p>The warm sun beats down on Gabriel, wiping his brow as he wades through the cornfields, following the blond-haired man in front of him. Glad he’s basically wearing denim shorts and an old white t-shirt as they've been walking through the field for a while now, trying to get some privacy from Jack’s parents and siblings. </p><p>“Your family is nice Jack, you should visit them more.” Gabriel laughs as Jack squeezes his hand laughing along with him. The small gesture makes cheeks feel heated more than they already do in the sun. </p><p>“We both know how hard that is with our schedules, be glad I was somehow able to convince Ana to cover for us both.” Jack’s tone is light, tender. He wants to hear it more as Jack stops and finally sits down in the middle of the field, wearing a red flannel shirt under his denim overalls, his head covered with a sunhat shielding him from the sun.</p><p>Gabriel sits beside him letting out a small grunt as he settles down beside Jack, Gabriel regrets not grabbing a sunhat as the sun beats onto his head, his hand running across his head, the buzzcut gently rubbing against his hand. </p><p>“Glad you didn’t drag us out here during midday would have been awful, considering it’s already 3 pm and it’s still too bright and hot.” Gabriel pulls at his shirt a little, grinning all the while. </p><p>“Well Indiana does get pretty hot, maybe next time we visit we could do it during the winter when we can just easily wrap up and stay nice and warm.” Jack smiles at him, his cheeks flushed as the sun brings out his freckles, the way the sun peers through Jack’s hat. The sight makes Gabriel’s throat go dry as he just watches the way the sunshines across his skin making him look ethereal. </p><p>“Are you inviting me to visit again? I thought you’d want me out of here as soon as possible.” Scrabbling to make a joke, like his heart isn’t pounding away in his ears, as Gabriel tries to push down the feeling that he feels simmering under his skin. </p><p>At that Jack barks a laugh making Gabe melt just a little, “Of course not! You’re great company, Gabe, even if you are a little moody at times.” Jack nudges his friend as he grins, “You mean a lot to me, you know… I don’t know where I’d be without you.” His voice is soft and tender now, Gabriel can barely look away as Jack’s cheeks begin to flush a red. He doesn’t really realise he’s reaching out to touch him until their hands connect and Jack looks at him properly. </p><p>“Hey now… You mean a lot to me too, I’m not going anywhere without you Jack. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you wanted me too.” The words that slip out of Gabriel’s mouth are close to his heart, the atmosphere between them is vulnerable as if the wrong false move would make everything crumble. </p><p>Jack doesn’t know what to say, his eyes tracing Gabriel’s face as he tries to figure out the words to say, “I… I’d like to stay by your side. I don’t want to be without you in my life.” </p><p>Gabriel is sure Jack can hear how loud his heart is pounding, his heartbeat loud in his ears as he watches his friend’s face. Jack’s features are soft, looking at him with adoration, or something more as he entwines their fingers together. Their breath caught in the air as they slowly leaned towards each other, seeing Jack’s eyes close as their lips softly grazed each other. </p><p>Only for it to be torn apart as Jack’s dog barks loudly, joined by the chorus of Jack’s family calling out for them. Jack’s face is bright red with Gabriel’s own cheeks a darker shade of brown as they look at each other in a mix of surprise and shock, both of them pulled out of the small trance they found themselves in.<br/><br/>“Jack, I-”<br/><br/>“N-No it’s my fault! I’m sorry, maybe we could just forget about it.” Jack looks at him worried, scared like he would lose Gabriel over this, it hurts him as he squeezes his friend’s hand. </p><p>“Okay… But I’m not going to leave you.” Gabriel gives him a tiny smile, Jack doesn’t return it, tightening his lips together before letting his hand leave Gabriel’s and getting up. Leaving Gabriel being in the cornfields alone, breaking his heart in the process. </p><hr/><p>Waking up with a shuddering gasp, Gabriel jolts up in his bed, his heart racing as his mind thinks back to the memory from his dream. His hands shake as he tries to stabilize himself, tears running down his face as he crumples into himself, his hands going to his face as he sobs quietly to himself. Not knowing if he’s mourning his past or what he could have had. </p><p>After a few moments of collecting himself, he lets out deep breaths each one releasing parts of his nanites as his fingers are black and become clawed. He knows he’s unstable and needs something to eat, only thanks to Angela that he doesn’t need to feed off the energy of living beings to survive, but it still doesn’t make everything else that comes along being ‘brought back from the dead’ any easier. </p><p>Slowly Gabriel stumbles his way out of his room, dragging himself down the quiet hallways of the Overwatch base, his hoodie up to hide his face as his hands thrust as deep into the hoodie’s pockets as they could go to now reveal how unstable he is. Sure basically everyone has seen the hands-on base, but it doesn’t mean Gabriel likes showing them. </p><p>As he gets to the kitchen, Gabriel lets out a sigh of relief thankful no one else seems to be around, looking at the clock it beams 2 AM, some people would still be around if Overwatch was still an active organization. But thankfully they are running on small amounts of manpower and those who are on duty tonight would be in the security room. </p><p>Rummaging through the fridges and cupboards there’s nothing in here that Gabriel wants or desires to even think about eating, his mind keeps going back to the memory of Jack’s home, the corn stalks hiding them away, the sun dazzling down on them, how soft Jack’s lips felt against his own. </p><p>Slamming himself out of those thoughts, Gabriel growls out at how pathetic he is, still hung up on the past he doesn’t deserve to reminisce on. He knows how the story ends, Jack and Gabriel never became anything more than best friends. Jack never wanted him the way he did… It was expected but that doesn’t mean Gabriel resented him, it hurt even more when the wedge was formed between them. He yearns for the days of being Jack’s friend again, even if he meant that he couldn’t be anything more. After all, Gabriel had already accepted that fate.</p><p>Gabriel knows he needs to get out the headspace and get something to eat and focus on something, anything else but Jack. His stomach growls knowing he’ll need to eat soon, with what ingredients there are in the kitchen Gabriel knows he could definitely make some churros. </p><p>Pulling out everything he needs Gabriel begins to make the coating, whisking at the sugar and cinnamon, letting the fryer preheat while he proceeds to carry on with the rest of the ingredients. It isn’t long till Gabriel has made the dough from the flour, eggs, sugar, cinnamon and butter. Coming out a wonderful brown colour. Along with the sauce for them, he’s sure Ana wouldn’t mind if he took some of her dark chocolate for it. Sighing softly as Gabriel found himself lost in the old process of making churros, he’s always enjoyed making them ever since his Mama taught him. He has fond memories of making them for Jesse and Genji after a job well done, or during the time Fareeha ran around the kitchen ‘helping’ him make them. Or for Jack when he had a long day at work… </p><p>Letting out a small sigh and shaking his head, Gabriel gets the pipe ready for the dough, surprised Winston even kept the open star-shaped tip, or even any baking tools. But he supposes if someone visited like Lena what were they supposed to use. Even so with the pipe ready the only thing left to do is put the dough into the pipe and fry it up-</p><p>“Gabriel?” </p><p>Hearing his name surprises him, turning around to face the person who said his name. Smoke rolls off his body as his nanites want to dissipate, just to avoid any danger but he keeps himself composed as he stares at Jack who’s standing in the hallway. </p><p>Not really knowing what to do in this situation, both of them stand awkwardly, shifting their weight. It’s a moment till Gabriel realises his hands are still clawed as he turns to face the dough again as the oil is the only noise in the room. </p><p>Trying his best not to focus on the other super soldier in the room, keeping his hands busy with the churros as he fills the dough into the pipe making sure not to overfill the bag. Focusing on keeping his hands steady as he slowly pipes them into the oil and cutting the dough from the tip once he has a long enough strand of dough and watches it fall in. Hearing Jack shuffle along in the background as Gabriel slices another line of dough, he is sure that the old soldier has gone into the fridge behind him but tries not to pay any attention. </p><p>“Are you making Churros?” Jack asks quietly from where he stands, Gabriel doesn’t jump at the voice but his body almost involuntarily jolts by the silence breaking.<br/><br/>“Yeah…” Gabriel winces how his words come out, cold and distant but something in the back of his mind is nagging him to keep up the conversation, the words leave his lips without him really thinking about it. “I didn’t want anything else.” Gabriel cuts another line of dough, watching the churros sizzle and cook away in the oil, the ball is in Jack’s field he can either leave it be or continue their talk. </p><p>At the answer Jack smiles, it’s a small one that pulls on the cut in his lip slightly making Gabriel’s heartbeat a little faster. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve had churros, then again I never liked anyone else's but yours.”  Hearing that Gabriel feels his cheeks heating up, keeping his eyes on the churros as best he can, even if they always end up back to Jack. </p><p>“That’s because I always added so much sugar on them for your gigantic sweet tooth.” Retorting back, it’s playful, after so long of being simple and cutting conversations it feels nice. Hearing Jack’s laughter from it makes everything worth it, it’s been so long and it still brings warmth to Gabriel. </p><p>“That might be true but you can’t deny you liked having lots of sugar too.”<br/><br/>“Not to the point my teeth might rot off Jack, my mother would have been so disappointed in seeing the amount of sugar I put on these for you.” </p><p>Jack can’t help but keep laughing, it feels like they are falling into place where they once left off all those years ago. He wants to keep it like this, to not discuss everything that happened between them. But both Gabriel and Jack know better than that as Gabriel pulls out the first batch of the churros from the oil so they don’t burn. </p><p>Gabriel can feel Jack’s eyes on him, watching as he puts the churros on the side to let them drain and begins to put more of them into the oil again. The silence between them is peaceful, it’s better than the arguing they did for hours on end the last time they were here together. </p><p>Neither of them ready to bring up the past, both not wanting to look back at it. Gabriel looks at Jack properly, while he watches the churros sizzle. He looks tired like something has been eating away at him, Gabriel wants nothing more than to pull him into a hug, to comfort his friend. But are they even on that level anymore? Gabriel doesn’t know but he looks at Jack’s shirt in slight surprise. </p><p>Jack is known for wearing ugly Christmas sweaters all December, he at least one for every day by the end. It was a highlight to see all the sweaters but to see Jack not wearing one, it broke Gabriel. He wore them with a bright smile and always did a stupid twirl to show it off to his friends, mostly since Ana always goaded him into doing it. So to see him without one, it just seems wrong. </p><p>It’s not long till Jack is back to earth, making Gabriel look away as he finishes up the churros. Leaving most of them draining, he needs to find where he put the sugar as he glances around and sees Jack holding it.<br/><br/>“Are you looking for this?” Jack grins a little, holding it up and shaking the sugar a little.<br/><br/>“No Jack, I’m looking for the salt.” Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Can I have the sugar.”<br/><br/>Jack raises an eyebrow, his grin widening a little more as he has the mischievous glint in his eye that Gabriel hasn’t seen in years, it sets him alight and makes him feel weak all at once.<br/><br/>“What’s the magic word, Gabe?” Jack lifts the sugar a little further away from Gabriel, knowing full that Jack is doing this to tease him, Gabriel still falls for it.<br/><br/>“Please may I have the sugar?” </p><p>With those words Jack grin softens as he lowers his arm, holding it out for Gabriel to take from him. Gabriel huffs a small laugh taking the sugar from the other man. Clicking for a moment as their hands softly touch, Gabriel feels his claws graze against Jack’s skin, pulling back quickly in realisation. Horror in his eyes as he realises Jack probably saw how much of a monster he’s become if he can’t control how his hands look.<br/><br/>Keeping his eyes away from Jack, Gabriel swallows heavily as he tries to think of something to say. “I’ll control myself better next time.” His hand tightening around the sugar as he hides his other one in his hoodie pocket.<br/><br/>“Gabriel…” Jack's voice is careful as he speaks, being sure to not upset the man in front of him as he continues. “I don’t care about your hands, claws or not you’re still an important person to me. I’ve never been scared of you, even when you’re not stable. Because I know you won’t hurt me. Sure you hurt me before but I know you wouldn’t do it again.” </p><p>He can’t believe what he’s hearing, Gabriel looks to Jack in surprise to hear the man he shot in the back to stay in cover, for Jack that he had argued with for years admit not only was Gabriel still important to him, but he knew he’d be safe around him. It takes everything in him not to cry, he doesn’t know quite what to say to Jack, his mind a thousand miles per minute. </p><p>“You don’t have to say anything yet, I can wait. Just know I still care for you Gabe, always have, all ways will.” Jack's smile is something more than reassuring, his eyes look a little hopeful but pained as Gabriel stands there and watches Jack leave the kitchen, leaving Gabriel to his own thoughts. </p><p>Whilst he’s alone, Gabriel has time to think to himself. His mind processing everything Jack said to him whilst he finished up the churros. Staring at the baked goods, Gabriel grabs a spare plate and sets some aside, wrapping them up and putting them in the fridge, with a note saying they’re for Jack. Once that’s done, Gabriel retreats to his with the rest of the churros to let his mind wrap around the confession along with his feelings for Jack. </p><hr/><p>As the day began to come ever so closer, Gabriel had finally figured out what to get Jack. Most of the days were spent playing catch up in making the gift as bought the materials, knitted each part with precision. Sure he was a little bit rusty but once Gabriel got the hang of it, it felt natural as he finished up. </p><p>Gabriel did double, triple, quadruple checks for the gift, making sure not a single strand of yarn was out of place and it was tightly done. There’s a pit in his stomach of what if this isn’t the right thing, what if Jack hates it, hates him. He wouldn’t be surprised but he remembers the night in the kitchen the two of them alone… Still, Gabriel can’t help but wonder if he was just saying that to make him feel better or not. </p><p>In the end, the deadline doesn’t let him dwell on if he could get another present now, it’s too late as he finished it on the eve of the gift exchange. Gingerly Gabriel wraps up the present, careful with his hands as it’s wrapped to not ruin it. Once it’s done, he’s thankful it’s wrapped up and still in one piece, although Gabriel’s wrapping skills are still something to be left to be desired. Gabriel watches the clock click to 12 AM on 25th of December, it’s Christmas, there’s no turning back now as Gabriel sits on his bed, staring at the wrapped gift with his stomach churning in worry but for the first time in a long time, excitement. </p><p>Once he’s finally woken up after falling asleep, Gabriel groans and looks at the clock. 7:31 AM. The gift exchange is at 9:00 AM. He knows he could maybe sleep for another half an hour before getting ready, but the butterflies easily return back from the night before in full force. He feels like a kid all over again, making Gabriel groan into the pillow in annoyance. </p><p>Either from maybe disappointing Jack to not knowing who his own secret Santa is, it all makes him nervous to the point he can’t rest as his mind jumps to conclusions. Finally deciding that he can’t stand it any longer, Gabriel runs his hand against his head, a nervous habit he still can’t quit even with his hair being a buzzcut. Getting out of bed and jumping into the shower to at least be ready when he needs to leave for the rec room, just to allow himself to take some time as the hot water runs down against his skin. The relief of feeling the heat against his skin makes Gabriel sigh softly as he cleans himself, it doesn’t take him too long to get washed but he ends up relaxing more from the shower. Stepping out and making sure to clean himself up, Gabriel decides maybe he could at least clean himself up a little bit more for the meeting. Trimming his beard till it’s perfect, deciding against shaving his head since the buzzcut is low enough for his tastes. Putting on some aftershave and deodorant. </p><p>When he’s out of the bathroom, Gabriel looks at the clock again as it brightly shows 8:40 AM. That’s do-able as he completely dries himself, putting the towel back into the bathroom and begins to dress. He doesn’t have anything Christmassy to wear so deciding to just wear his hoodie along with his jeans, putting on his beanie to give him some comfort. Turning to the clock again to see 8:55, he knows he has to go by now. Gabriel grabs the present for Jack, his hands are beginning to become claws once again from worry but he tries his best to keep calm. Moving to his door and leaving his room and hearing it lock behind him, he could still easily retreat but he knows he should move forward and face the music. </p><p>Inside the rec room, everything is decorated with Christmas and Hanukkah decorations around the room, there were a few decorations around the base, but this looks like the epicentre as the lights and music seem to be using most of the base's power. Everyone has already begun to mingle, Gabriel watches Lena zip around everywhere in excitement, he can’t help but wonder if someone already gave her some eggnog for her to be so cheery this early in the morning. But remembering back to the old times, Lena was usually very excitable for Christmas especially. </p><p>He looks around the decorations, remembers how they are usually set up. It’s surprising how the first day of Hanukkah and Christmas landed on the same day this year. But it feels right after so long of not being together, for the holidays to bring them together.</p><p><br/>Gabriel stays on the sideline with his gift in his hand, trying his best not to make his claws come out as he breathes deeply to try and keep calm. It’s loud with the music blaring and the people chatting around the room. He can hear Reinhardt’s booming laughter mixed in with a bastion’s gears whirring, it makes Gabriel feel like he’s losing his mind.</p><p>Spotting Jack talking to Ana, Gabriel watches the two interact for a moment. Seeing the smile on Ana’s face as she begins to laugh showing the crows feet by her eye but somehow still awe-inspiring as the first day he met her. But Gabriel’s focus is mainly on Jack, the small smile that turns into a smirk, how the wrinkles from age only add to how ridiculously handsome he is. It makes his heart yearn to the one who causes those smiles. But he holds the gift in his hand wanting to go over to Jack, but stops himself and lets the man talk to Ana, realising that maybe Jack was giving his gift to Ana, after all this was a secret Santa gift exchange too.<br/><br/>Instead of moving over to join them, Gabriel moves to a more quiet section of the room. It allows him to breath and just get his wits about him, sure maybe when he was younger Gabriel would have been a more active member of the celebrations. But now, he’s older, he can’t handle too much noise that well, and dislikes being in the spotlight now. Watching Jack from afar, seeing how he’s still bright as ever, he knows Jack doesn’t like being in the spotlight but it always seems to find him. Or maybe it was just Gabriel trying to rationalise the fact his eyes always use to wander to Jack before anyone else.<br/><br/>Lost in his own world for a moment, he doesn’t realise that Jack begins to approach him, it takes Gabriel a moment to click that Jack is headed for <em> him. </em> He does his best to look more presentable as he stops leaning and feels more flustered. God he hasn’t felt this flustered in years, he’s sure it’s obvious to everyone else around him.<br/><br/>“Hey.” Jack’s smile is tender as he stops beside Gabriel, he looks as nervous as Gabriel feels, seeing his feet shuffle a little.<br/><br/>“Hi.” Wincing a little at how it came out but Gabriel continues, trying to not focus on it too much, “How are you dealing with all of this?”<br/><br/>“It’s a lot, still getting used to being around so many people again, everything feels a lot well…”<br/><br/>“Different.”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s a good different. Seeing everyone celebrate with each other, it’s something I’ve missed, especially seeing some people even going all out with costumes. Lena running around as an elf and Torbjörn busted out his old Santa costume.”  Jack grins at the thought, and Gabriel can’t help himself but smile with him. </p><p>“It’s been years since I’ve seen Torbjörn wear that, I’ll have to keep an eye out for him, but who knows maybe it’s a bloody Mary situation and if we mention him more than three times he’ll appear with a plate of cookies.” Gabriel grins nudging Jack who can’t hold back his laughter, it’s bright and makes Gabriel feel like his heart sore just the sound alone after not hearing it come from him for so long. </p><p>Gabriel features soften at the laughter, chuckling a little as his own joke. Looking down at Jack’s hands he sees Jack still holding onto a present and he can’t help but wonder if Ana wasn’t his secret Santa. Even if he’s curious, he wouldn’t push Jack to reveal it to him unless he wanted to.<br/><br/>The present in his own hand becomes heavy as he grips it more tightly as Jack begins to calm down, smiling as he looks over to Gabriel before Jack’s face changes to one of worry.<br/><br/>“Are you doing alright Gabe?” Jack sounds so sincere, Gabriel isn’t used to hearing it anymore as he takes a deep breath.<br/><br/>“I’m fine, I’m just nervous about giving my present. I’m worried they won’t like it.”<br/><br/>“Gabriel, I’m sure they’ll love it. You tend to know exactly what people want when it comes to gifts.”  </p><p>It’s so genuine, Gabriel feels like he’ll almost pinch himself just to make sure this isn’t all a dream as he does his best to keep calm.<br/><br/>“I really hope he does…” Before he can second guess himself, Gabriel turns to face Jack properly as he hands over his gift. “I’m your secret Santa Jack, I know there is probably a better way to tell you but I don’t want to chicken out.” Jack is a little taken back, before slowly taking the gift. </p><p>The silence that follows between them is almost deafening, Gabriel knows that the room is full of festive cheer but he can’t focus on it. As Jack unwraps the gift he feels like how he might flee from how terrified of his reaction. Hearing the wrapping paper crinkle as it’s unwrapped, watching Jack’s reaction go from surprise to genuine excitement makes Gabe feel a flood of relief. </p><p>“It’s perfect Gabe, seriously I love it. Thank you so much.” Jack pulls Gabriel into a hug and he can’t help but melt into it. After so long of not being held, it feels nice.<br/><br/>Once he pulls away, Jack looks at the gift again in delight, an ugly sweater that’s mostly dark green sleeves that are cut between with white Christmas trees, snow and white diamonds with the cuffs and end areas being pure white. The most eye-catching thing being the pale green in the middle with a red Pachimari with reindeer antlers and red Christmas trees, the back of it having a bright red 76 on the back with a few more trees tie the whole aesthetic together.<br/><br/>“I wanted to get you those ugly sweaters you always wear during this time of the year, I only recently realised you didn’t have any so… I thought I should make it myself, it’s unique, like you. You should wear it if you really like it.” Gabriel nudges him a little to wear the jumper, Jack seems to be super ecstatic about wearing it. </p><p>Quickly slipping it on, Jack stretches it out a little bit with a full toothed smile. Looking at Gabe with delight as he wears it. “It’s so comfy Gabe! You made this? Holy shit!” Jack laughs in disbelief as he runs his hand through his hair laughing a little. “Seriously this is amazing.”  </p><p>Gabriel feels his heart beat faster at how Jack’s words come out, he wants to pull Jack into a hug and kiss him but he knows that’s not a boundary he shouldn’t cross with Jack.</p><p>“You should wear it around while looking for your secret Santa, Jack. Show off all my hard work with knitting.” Gabriel grins, wanting to show Jack he’s alright, along with a little bit of pride he has for making the jumper.<br/><br/>“Actually…” The pause makes Gabriel worry for a moment before he turns to his old friend and holds out the parcel. “I’m your secret Santa, Gabe.” Jack gives him a tender smile. Gabriel feels like his heart has stopped as he tenderly takes the parcel from Jack’s hands. </p><p>The parcel crumples a little, making Gabriel immediately worry as he believes he broke his gift already, being careful with tearing the wrapping paper to show off the present. To Gabriel’s surprise, it’s a weighted blanket. “Oh…” Is all that comes out of Gabriel’s mouth as he gently has his hand graze over the material.<br/><br/>“I know how bad winter is for you, so I thought this would help. I made sure to get the best one around for you.” Looking over to Jack, his smile is warm and inviting, Gabriel can’t help but be drawn to him a little.</p><p>“Honestly, this is great, thanks.” Gabriel squeezes the blanket and holds it close, just thankful for the gift.</p><p>The moment of silence between them is greatly different, it’s comfortable but there is some weight behind unspoken words and things left unsaid. Gabriel wants to bring up the kiss from all those years ago, but he can’t, he doesn’t know-how.<br/><br/>It’s actually Jack who speaks up first, “Gabe, I want to apologise…” </p><p>Gabriel feels like his breathing stops when Jack apologises, he looks shocked and doesn’t really know what to say as he tries to figure out what he’s apologising for. But Gabriel doesn’t really get the chance to ask. </p><p>“I’m so sorry I left you alone after everything that happened, I’m sorry for the times we argued and I never backed down even when I was in the wrong… I’m also sorry for all those years ago where I didn’t tell you how I truly felt… Well, feel.” Jack sounds so sombre, his voice is soft and sincere but almost like he’s scared of Gabriel’s reaction to the apology.<br/><br/>Not knowing what to do for a moment, he watches Jack looks away terrified as if he already knows how Gabriel will react. His body moves before he can think, seeing how Jack looks so hurt and accepted that Gabriel won’t forgive him.<br/><br/>Unable to stop himself, Gabriel wraps his arms around Jack, he holds him close. “I forgive you, Jack, I forgave you years ago. I’m so sorry I couldn’t apologise first or earlier… I was such a fool to leave you thinking I hated you all these years.” Gabriel is careful to make sure he’s with his words, he wants to make sure Jack clearly understands his feelings. </p><p>Although it’s clear Jack does as he returns the embrace, it’s warm and makes Gabriel feel alive for the first time in years. They hold one another close, neither wanting to let go of the other as they’ve been apart for too long. Gabriel feels Jack bury his head into the crook of Gabriel’s neck, small sobs of relief can be heard from both of them, Jack more so. Gabriel would vehemently deny he’s crying even as tears streak down his cheeks.<br/><br/>Gabriel doesn’t know how long they held onto each other, only that Jack parted first. Wiping away at his own tears chuckling a little trying to hide over how wet his voice sounds. “Sorry, I’m already ruining the sweater you made.”<br/><br/>“No, Jack. You're not, shh don’t worry.” Gabriel gently takes Jack’s hand away from his face, using his own hand to wipe away the tears more focused on Jack than he was on himself. Gabriel has always put Jack before himself, it’s a habit he still can’t seem to break even now. </p><p>Once he’s finished gently wiping Jack’s tears, he keeps his hand on Jack’s cheek almost going to pull it away but Jack puts his on hand on top of Gabriel’s own, not wanting for him to move away. Gabriel doesn’t really know how to respond but delicately rubs his thumb into Jack’s cheek, who softly turns into it with a shaky breath. Both of them are recovering from the wounds they left each other, but willing to help them heal together.<br/><br/>The moment feels like it could end at any second, neither of them refusing to move away from each other. Gabriel gives Jack a concerned look, it’s soft but caring as he wants to make sure his friend is alright. Jack feels like the grip on his hand is tight making him worry, “Jack, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll be okay.”<br/><br/>Jack looks up at Gabriel, he doesn’t know how to feel. Those bright blue ocean eyes capturing him all over again as they did all those years ago on the Morrison farm. Gabriel doesn’t know if he even wants to name the emotions that he can see running through Jack’s eyes. He doesn’t want his hopes to be crushed after all those years ago, his own deep brown eyes too lost in Jack’s own.<br/><br/>It’s almost a blur of what happens next, in the back of the room away from everyone else who carries on with the celebration. They feel drawn together, like magnets attracting one another as everything collides, Jack and Gabriel’s lips meet making fireworks light up in the back of his mind. </p><p>Everything seems to melt away as they kiss, Jack holds Gabriel close, his hand on the lower dip in back as he kisses him passionately. Gabriel doesn’t know when his eyes closed during the kiss, tears slip down his cheeks once again as reciprocates the kiss. It’s tender, meaningful, passionate. It means so much more than it did all those years again, Gabriel moves his hand away from Jack’s cheek, wanting to hold his hand as they kiss. </p><p>When he pulls away, Gabriel looks surprised but dazed as he tries to figure out what happened, his mind flashes back to the farm, to how he apologised all those years ago in the field. “I-I thought you didn’t…”<br/><br/>“I did… I still like you that way Gabriel it’s just… I was scared of losing what we had. We were so close as friends and I didn’t want to lose that friendship, even if I wanted more for us.” Jack is earnest, open as he speaks. Gabriel could tell when Jack was speaking from a script he made, this feels nothing like it. “But now, I’m more afraid of losing you again without telling you how I truly feel. Gabriel Reyes, I love you, I want to start a relationship with you. This is your choice, whatever you decide I’ll still support you. I’m not leaving you again.”</p><p>Gabriel doesn’t know what to say, after all these years of believing he wasn’t worthy of Jack. Now years later for Jack to admit he loved him, still loves him. Gabriel doesn’t know how to express himself. </p><p>The emotion seems to bubble up under his skin, he’s happy, ecstatic but sad that it took them so long for one of them to finally admit how they felt. Jack deeply wanted him the same way he did, his tears spilling down his face as he laughs at the absurdity of it all. “You’re such an asshole, Jack.”  Gabriel crumples as he laughs turn into sobs, letting Jack hold him.<br/><br/>“I know, I’m sorry.” Jack holds him close, letting Gabriel hide away for as long as he needs. It’s a different scene for Jack and Gabriel, with the stark contrast of the party with the both of them admitting their feelings for one another. It almost doesn’t feel real. </p><p>It’s a moment until Gabriel finally speaks up, facing Jack properly as the tears finally calm down. “All these years I thought you didn’t love me… I just accepted the fact we would be friends. If anything I just wanted us to be friends once more, I never thought you’d love me.” </p><p>Gabriel squeezes Jack’s hand as he wipes away his tears, taking a deep breath. “Jack I’ve loved you for a long time, ever since that first Secret Santa exchange where you shared stories of your home all the while goading me into giving you my chocolate. I love you, I want to be in a relationship with you too, Jack.” </p><p>Jack looks at him in awe, for a moment, his blue eyes tearing up again as he holds Gabriel close. “You really know how to make me cry, Gabe. This isn’t fair.” Jack laughs, it’s pure joy and Gabriel can’t help but love the sound as he holds him laughing along.<br/><br/>“Hey, don’t put that on me! You were the one to get emotional in the first place!” Gabriel hasn’t felt like this in years, the joy of being able to hold Jack, to know he is deeply loved by Jack who recuperates it. It means everything. </p><p>“You Jerk!” Jack holds him up, swinging them both around and holding Gabriel up a little as they both laugh, too happy for the joy they feel as Gabriel dips down and kisses him. </p><p>Even as the party gets into the full swing, neither Jack nor Gabriel care. Too happy and in love to even pay attention. This Christmas the real gift was for both of them being able to get another chance at their relationship, to take things one step at a time and finally being able to be open with themselves and each other.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy Holidays! I really hope you enjoyed the fic! This came out a lot longer than expected. This was so much fun to fill I didn't expect to be so angsty but here we are, I really hope it was to your liking and you were able to enjoy the boys connecting to one another again! Enjoy yourselves and be sure to take it easy over these holidays.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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